It's time once again to say "Goodbye" to 2013 and "Howdy Hey" to 2014. Every year on New Years, I think about what is in store for me. I remember last year I thought, "Holy cow, this year I'm gonna graduate and go to college and leave home. What a big year!!" And a big year it has been.
At the beginning of the year I sang with these 9th Avenue ladies at Battle of the Bands at my High School.
Over Daddy's college Spring Break came our family's trip to Disneyland! So much fun, and we were all the perfect ages for it.
Over the kid's spring break, we went for my sister's Sweet 16 road trip to exciting Moab!
Late spring brought some highly anticipated and bittersweet changes. First, the final choir concert of high school (been with these gorgeous girls singing and dancing since Junior High).
Then LDS Seminary graduation.
Then High School Graduation!!
Summer brought many things.
A second job.
My first big purchase (of my life).
My second big purchase (of my life).
A Cafe Rio Mint Limeade addiction (great way to beat the heat).
A Grey's Anatomy addiction (really, where had it been all my life??).
Diving into a YSA Ward head first by going to Summit with this girl!
Learning how to write to a bagillion missionaries due to the age-change.
Ghana
Zimbabwe
The Philippines
Callifornia, Oregon, California
Minnesota and California (again).
Then came autumn time, a new home, and a new school.
Got all packed up to move away.
Moved to college.
Signed up for/participated in my first rodeo.
Had a blast being fun and crazy!!
Now it's winter time, and the Holidays have come and gone. I'm preparing for another fantastic semester with many more adventures to come!!
As I begin a fresh new year, I can't help but think what a big year this one is. It's gonna be even bigger than 2013! "Holy cow! This year I'm going to finish up my freshman year of college AND leave on a mission." And what a wonderful year it will be.
I am feeling so incredibly blessed today. I love the family that I have. I love their impact in my life. I love that we will be together forever. I love that I get to spend so much time with them over this Christmas break!! We have had so much fun so far.
My mom brought to my attention last night how this Christmases after this will likely NEVER be the same. The next two Christmases I will be out serving an 18 month LDS mission, and after that, perhaps my sister. Life truly takes off from here.
So this year has been ever more sweet. My siblings and I slept out last night and had a good old time playing games like "Never Have I Ever" and sharing crazy camp (girls camp or scout camp) memories. This morning we have been relaxing, napping (after all, one does not get much sleep at said Sibling Sleep-Out), visiting, and playing with all the new treasures Santa left. Also, this year as siblings we went pretty all out for one another and our parents. It was so fun seeing what was important to each sibling and how each gift was received.
These days are precious. It's not gonna be like this forever, but with each new chapter our relationships shift and grow. I love how even though I've been gone for several months, I get to come home to a family that loves me. My relationships with each of my siblings has evolved into something new and exciting and I cannot wait to see what life has in store for all of us. On this Christmas Day I am thanking the Lord for the blessing of my family and the birth of His son, my brother and Savior, Jesus Christ. May we all remember this day, and always to keep Christ in our lives. Merry Christmas to you one and all!!
I was dared by a friend to sing a song and post it to YouTube. I like to sing, but I never sing solos in front of ANYONE. In my choir days (that seem like they were a long time ago, but actually really weren't) it was nerve-wracking, but easy enough to get over when it means the difference between pass and fail. Anywho, this is something different than I've ever done before. So, while you read the rest of my Christmas blog post, I give you the Little Drummer Boy. Nothing fancy. Just me, my guitar, and a practice room.
This year, Christmas has felt quite different to me. It's my first year away from my family for a good portion of the season. I wasn't there with them to decorate, put up the tree, go to the family/ward Christmas party, I haven't watched with anticipation, the growing pile of gifts beneath our tree, etc. It's so strange. In our apartment, we have:
a Christmas tree,
a snowflake filled/light covered window,
a popcorn garland,
and even snowflakes!!
We listen to Christmas music sometimes, eat Christmas treats, watch Christmas movies, we really are pretty festive. But, it is all very different than being at home. It certainly gives a whole new meaning to the song "I'll Be Home For Christmas." A song which, by the way, I used to hate and now resist the urge to tear up each time I hear. But let me tell you what I've learned and what has actually been very nice.
1. Making Christmas Gifts is so easy when you don't have to worry about someone accidentally walking in and discovering your secret.
Being a college student who lives in a college town where it's hard to get work, trying to find money to spend on Christmas presents is a little tough. I keep to a very strict budget. I have enough money for necessities, and an emergency fund in case something goes wrong. I'm kind of a tight wad, is what I'm really trying to say. However, I LOVE Christmas, and I wanted to do something special for each member of my family. So...I decided to make homemade gifts for everyone! Each required time, energy, and a certain amount of spreading out (I didn't want to give them things that looked tacky and homemade, they needed to look nice and show true thought). It was incredibly nice to have not even a sliver of risk in making the gifts! NO ONE could possibly walk in on me who wasn't supposed to. How's that for gifter/gifted confidentiality?
2. Christmas is all the sweeter knowing I've had to wait to participate with my family in the plans, the prep, the excitement.
It is so weird planning for a holiday like CHRISTMAS without my family. I've waited, decorated, anticipated without them. I haven't figured out how I feel about it one way or the other yet, but I know it's been fun in a different way than it used to be. I'm here, far from home, with this new kind of family unit within my apartment and complex. I speak with friends in my student ward about making plans to travel home, what gifts they're giving their families, what kind of service we're going to do that week for others, etc. In my apartment we've had conversations about family traditions. Lot's of conversations start with, "In my family we do this and this and this for Christmas, wanna do that here?" In the complex, there are wreaths on the light poles and buildings. In the common areas (lounge, laundromat) there are paper chains, Christmas trees, paper snowflakes, ornaments, posters. It's a full on Winter Wonderland!
3. The true meaning of Christmas remains the same no matter where I'm celebrating.
Recently there's been a lot of talk about being less discriminatory with this "Holiday Season." I'm sorry, but Christmas has been Christmas for years and years and years. No one ever had a problem before! Hanukkah has always been Hanukkah, Kwanzaa has always been Kwanzaa. We have Holidays this time of year. Some are religious, some are cultural, some are both. I don't know who decided we need to stop calling it a Christmas Tree, but whoever it was needs to just stop. **Soapbox over.** I am LDS (a Mormon). I celebrate Christmas because Christ was born 2000+ years ago. He was born in a humble stable and laid in a manger. Shepherds bore witness of the blessed event. Three wisemen came to glorify Him with gifts. A choir of angels proclaimed His birth. The world was changed forever. This is why I celebrate. This is why I want to be with my family this season. I want to celebrate, with them, that blessed event. I want to bare witness just like the shepherds did, with the miracles I witness and the words I speak. I want to glorify my Father in Heaven and the Savior Jesus Christ just as the wisemen did, with gifts of service and gifts or temporal worth. I want to proclaim the birth of Jesus Christ just as the angels did, with singing and celebration. That is the spirit of the season and that is what Christmas is all about.
In case I don't get another post in before I move and head off for Holiday, here's wishing you and yours the Merriest of Christmases and a very Happy Holiday Season. May it be spent with the people who matter most to you.
Well, it's technically the day AFTER Veteran's Day, and I debated whether or not I wanted to publish this post or delete it, wondering if it was too soap-boxy. But, I am patriotic, I am proud to be an American, and I am not ashamed to let my voice be heard.
The summer between my Junior and Senior year of high school I attended what's called Girls' State. It's almost a type of camp which lasts one week and teaches all about government. While there, I was able to experience (along with approximately 300 other girls from across the state) politics and government first hand. We were divided up into cities and counties. I had the privilege of being a county and state delegate, member of the credentials committee, a member of the sifting committee, a senator, and the senate chaplain.
While attending Girls' State I felt feelings of pride and patriotism that I had never before felt. On the second to last night we had a banquet in celebration of all of the Veterans who so willingly serve us. We honored decorated veterans from across the state, had a guest speaker, and learned about the Poppy. Each of us wore a boutineer, crafted by veterans, as a sign of respect and remembrance. At each place setting, beneath the boutineer, was this poem:
In Flander's Field
by John McCrae
In Flanders fields the poppies blow
Between the crosses, row on row,
That mark our place; and in the sky
The larks, still bravely singing, fly
Scarce heard amid the guns below.
We are the Dead. Short days ago
We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,
Loved and were loved, and now we lie,
In Flanders fields.
Take up our quarrel with the foe:
To you from falling hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
If ye break faith with us who die
We shall not sleep, though poppies grow
In Flanders fields.
It was, in those brief moments of reading those three little stanzas, that I felt feelings like those I had never felt toward this country and its government. The closest thing I can relate it to is a deep spirituality, almost. It was unlike anything I'd ever felt before. As I read the poem, I teared up. Picking up my boutineer, I stared at it for a moment, reflecting on my feelings, analyzing them, then scrambling, I hurried to fasten it firmly over my heart.
I woke up on Veteran's Day this year and realized that I did not have that boutineer, I left it at home when I came to college. I felt really bad, like I couldn't adequately honor those who served. When I emerged, my roommate had little red poppy pins for those in the apartment who wanted them. I was so grateful, and we ended up launching into a big conversation about how much we love this country! One of our other roommates looked a little befuddled and asked how we could love it so much when things are going bad in the government. Well, here's how.
First, I love my country for the people who live in it. The average american, the every day citizen, the general population. I look around and I see diversity. I see interesting, exciting new people everyday that make up this grand place. I don't love my country for its leaders, its political figures, its poster children, because they aren't what truly make up this land. The United States of America is full of people who are gritty, who are stubborn, hard headed, and AWESOME! That's why we thrive. That's why we have survived as a country all these years. Imagine what would happen if Americans lost their spunk...
Second, I support the leaders of our country. I may not always agree (in fact, I usually don't) with everything they have to say. I don't always agree with the laws and standards that are implemented. However, I also don't envy the job of an official who will NEVER please everyone. I know that our laws are put in place to protect us and our freedoms.I know that even if something isn't going our way, we have a right to vote against it AND when all else fails, we only have to endure it for 4 years before things can change up again anyway.
Third, I know we are the land of the free. Look at any other country in the world. Where else can the average citizen decide 100% their own destiny?? Look at Oprah. She came from impoverished circumstances, endured abuse, persecution, and general hardship. After working hard and searching for opportunities she has become arguably one of the most inspirational AND successful women of all time. Need another example? Jim Carrey dropped out of high school to try to salvage his families financial situation after his father was laid off. He took on two jobs, but the family still lost their home and ended up living in a van. Now, he is a multimillionaire. And there are so many more examples of regular people who rise to success and strive for greatness. It is possible because we are free.
Fourth, our country defends itself. I'm not sure where I stand politically. I'm not sure what party I will register for when I register to vote, I don't know the ins and outs of how I feel about every military issue, but I know that our country demands respect and defends its integrity. When I was younger (and maybe even still today) I used to tease my younger siblings to no end. It was like a hobby! But oddly enough, if anyone else EVER tried to tease them, it was go time. That was not acceptable. Have you ever noticed that that is pretty much exactly how our nation is today? We may not have it all together within the "home," but if anyone EVER tries to mess with us, it is go time. I am so glad that's the way it is. Call me crazy, but I feel much better knowing I live in a country where people aren't just rolling over and playing dead. I am forever indebted to the people who go out every day and fight for the rights we are given.
I mean, maybe that's an overly-simplified outlook, but I truly believe it's that simple! The United States of America is, frankly, the home of the free and the land of the brave. We are bound together by the same stubborn, opinionated, egotistical personalities that often pull us apart. If it wasn't so, we would not be the land we are today. I know that many people my age complain about the government more than count it as a blessing, but I think it's more because we want to be contrary to what we're told, because I think that if everyone just took a moment to consider what we're blessed with, there would be a better reaction than just disdain and complaints.
Regarding the Veterans and my poppy, I just want to say that I salute you. I salute each and every individual that has, does, and will serve our country. I thank you from the deepest reaches of my heart. I wear my poppy proudly in remembrance of those who so willingly sacrifice everything, every day, so that I may continue to love this land. I can't help but beam when I hear patriotic songs. I can't help but get the chills when I see a soldier in uniform. Walking on campus, I sometimes hear the ROTC shouting their cadences, barking orders, and pushing each other to go that extra mile and I have to just stop and marvel at the gratitude and pride that fills my soul. We are blessed beyond measure. I don't think the naysaying could ever reach a point where it would sway me of my immense gratitude for being blessed to live here, it's just that wonderful. No matter how uncertain, no matter how far out, not matter how intense it gets up on Capitol Hill, I will always love this country and the every day Americans that make it what it is. My cup runneth over.
This is the chorus to one of my favorite pump-me-up-on-a-less-than-stellar-day songs. I don't know about you, but sometimes it feels like life can't take a break from throwing you those curve balls. Just when you think it can't get worse, it goes and gets worse. My grandma once told me bad things happen in threes, so once you reach three, you're done and then things'll start going good again. Well, if you're reading this Grandma, I've disproved your theory.
Maybe it's Murphy's Law, maybe a sick twist of fate, or maybe just bad luck.
This is NOT a downer post. Keep reading!!
To give you a small glimpse into the bad luck that's befallen: stolen flash drive, bad grade in a class, dropped a class, took on 3 more credits, got a concussion, lost me short term memory of the 2 weeks prior to the concussion, out of school for a week (you added that right, now 3 weeks of missed school work), laptop had orange juice spilled on it (needed professional cleaning), back in school relearning all the material for midterms this upcoming week.
Now, like I said this is not a downer post. All that seems pretty bad for a fresh, new college kid all out on her own, right? Well, that's what I thought too. I spent the better parts of those first three days that I was recovering from the concussion angry and bitter at how such things could happen to me! Then this week as I returned to school and things were getting hard again I was just so mad!
As I mentioned in the first post, I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (aka a Mormon). So naturally, these things felt like a tremendous test of my faith. I was questioning my Father in Heaven about why all this was happening to me.
While scrolling through my Facebook newsfeed one day this week--I was taking a break from my discouraging studying--I stumbled across this picture:
Now, if you've never heard Elder Jeffrey R. Holland, member or not, I highly recommend it! He is a powerful speaker. When I read this, I knew I needed to look at the bigger picture, stop freaking out, and be humble. I decided to make a change...or four.
1. No more complaining about what had happened.
I always thought I had more sense than to be a complainer, but it turns out, when my parents weren't there to remind me to have a good attitude, I was miserable. You know that friend, the one we all have, who never seems to be in a good mood? You say, "Hey there so-and-so, how's it going?" And their reply EVERY TIME is, "Eh, I'm okay," or "Not that great, but it's fine." And you just have the hardest time with those friends because you want to say, "Get in a good mood!" (name thatmovie). Yeah, I was THAT friend. Can you say pity party? I will not forget the moment that hit me. Life is too great to be fine or okay. Especially in my situation. I am blessed to be going to school, living, breathing, working hard. So no more complaining for me!
2. No more looking at the stack of work I still needed to complete.
I have two classes that are kicking my trash. The work is hard and time consuming, they are for my major (not general credits) and they will affect the outcome of my graduate school. Let's just say, missing a week of those classes and forgetting another two weeks is a little inconvenient. Staring at that stack of work is intimidating. Staring at that stack and the stack of all my other classes work makes a person feel like they're drowning. Which leads right to number three!
3. Take pride in the little accomplishments.
Honestly, when I stopped focusing on everything I needed to do, and started focusing on all I had accomplished, I felt empowered!! Think about when you are on a hike. I grew up in Utah, and I love my mountains dearly. When you hike a mountain, it's hard to look up at how far you have to go. When you get to the top, do you keep looking up? NO! You look down at the view and at how far you've come! The same goes with tasks like make-up work. There's a level of excitement and power that comes from looking at your work and saying, "Heck yeah! I accomplished that!" It doesn't matter if you finished a two question worksheet or a one hundred question exam.
4. Take sporadic breaks from studying to give my mind a break and give my soul some TLC.
Life isn't supposed to be miserable. Even in the hardest times we need to have fun and find the joy. Hitting the books for 6 and 8 hour stretches may work sometimes, it may even work all the time for some people (like superhuman people, or general authorities), but it has NOT been working for me as of late. So, I told myself, "Okay, how about three hours and then a break." My breaks? Country Dancing, exercising, blogging, watching Grey's Anatomy (my current favorite on Netflix), doing laundry, baking, basically anything that doesn't remotely resemble studying. And you know what? I found my joy.
Remember...
Life throws you some curve balls, sometimes it may even throw you a whole bucket-full! But honestly, it won't last forever. Concussions heal, laptops are fixed, school work gets done, and before long you start recognizing the blessings again. With Thanksgiving coming up in just over a month, I'm feeling even more in tune with my blessings. I am blessed profusely by my Heavenly Father. Sometimes the blessings are temporal, sometimes spiritual, and sometimes they're blessings that are disguised as challenges, because even those help us learn and grow. To those who may be struggling right now, whatever the struggle is, remember that you're not alone in this world. You can find help from all sorts of people.
My last thought:
I was having a particularly tough day about a week and a half ago, and I felt like I'd never make it. Dramatic? Yes. Legitimate feeling? Yes. I couldn't help but question what I was doing here, far from home, away from my family and friends, stuck in a rut. About the time I was going to go in my room and take a nap--for the umpteenth time that day--I heard a loud knock in the door. Being the crotchety little lady I was that day, I grumbled all the way to the door. When I opened the door, I was shocked! A girl from one of my classes was standing on the porch with my notes form class, a slice of apple pie, and a bag of gummy bears. I couldn't even believe it! We hadn't ever hung out, or really had a full conversation. But there, I had found a friend and she gave me hope. Since then, we've hung out and gained a friendship that I know is true.
You're never alone, people are aware of you whether you know it or not.
