The Winds Of Change

I feel like all my life has been since coming to school is change, change, and more change!!

As I've been preparing for the "next big thing" in my life as of late, and perhaps the biggest change yet, I've been feeling very reflective on my life, my goals, my hopes and dreams, and my purpose on this Earth.

I have made such outstanding friendships here at school and have realized so many dreams of mine! While I feel like I've gained so much, I've also been knocked down a ton. As I've been considering my next step, I have felt more unprepared than ever before!! Everything I thought I wanted somehow seems trivial and inapplicable. It's as if I'm going through a quarter-life crisis. Is this normal??

However, rather than rant about everything I'm unsure about, I want to tell you what I know.

I know that I have a loving Father in Heaven who always looks after me. He knows me better than anyone else. He knows every feeling of my heart. He knows my hopes and dreams. He knows what makes me tick. He knows what knocks me down. 

I know that I have time. The future will come when it comes. What is happening now in my life is what's most important. I know I have to live more in the now. Que sera, sera. Life is to be enjoyed. So I don't have it all figured out right now, big deal! **Those of you who know me will know this is a big deal for me. I am the planner of all planners and always have to have it all together.** Life will work out. I am young. I have time to figure things out.

I know that I am held accountable for my choices and actions, but that ultimately my life is just that, mine. I am a huge people pleaser and that seems to cause more stress than good. Ultimately, what I do is up to me. I cannot please everyone.

I know that when I serve my fellow men I am serving my Father in Heaven. As I serve those around me I am happy and I know I am doing God's work. As big as my concerns are, they become minuscule when I take a step back and help others. 

I know that everyone I meet is fighting their own hard battle. In fact, this is probably the number one thing I know. Everyone I meet has something that is hard for them, something that is testing them, something that is shaking their confidence. Everyone I know has weaknesses and insecurities. Everyone I know is affected by this life in their own way. I know that I can do better at being understanding.

In just a few short days I'm leaving this beautiful place that I've spent the last 8+ months calling home. I've developed myself here. I've made friendships and built relationships that have enriched my life in innumerable ways. I am beyond thrilled to be heading back home to the place I grew up, I'm thrilled to see my family and old friends, and I'm thrilled to carry on with the next chapter of my life. However, my heart aches for the closing of this chapter of my life. It has been hard, frustrating, rewarding, and extraordinary. As I've been reflecting on all I've learned I am in awe of how blessed I've been. I have fallen flat on my face more times than I can count, but I've jumped up, dusted off, and overcome adversity more times than that. I know that the future is bright and that God is mindful of me. I will always look fondly on my time here and am eager to see what the future holds. Life is beautiful and so full of grand adventures. I am beyond happy to be embarking on a new one. To this lovely little town of mine, I'll see you in two! To all my amazing friends here, "See you when I see you."

You're Gonna Miss This

Does anyone feel like this yet??

It's 3 AM. This is the second night in a row that I have sat up until the wee hours of the morning studying for finals. This afternoon I gave my mom a call and visited with her for a while. At one point she told me to enjoy. "I know 'Enjoy' and 'Study' probably don't belong in the same sentence, but you need to live this up! This is the life." I sat there on the couch, worn out, listening to her say these words and I thought Mom, you are absolutely right. 'Enjoy' and 'Study' DON'T belong in the same sentence. As I reflected on her words though, it reminded me of a song that I LOVE and coincidentally hear played in one of the main buildings on campus all the time! 

The chorus states:

You're gonna miss this.

You're gonna want this back.

You're gonna wish these days hadn't gone by so fast.

These are some good times, so take a good look around.

You may not know it now, but you're gonna miss this.

As I thought about those words and about my life thus far, I realized the wisdom in my Momma's words and I realized just how well she knows me! I started thinking about the past, reminiscing. I have been fortunate. I grew up in a home that was safe, secure, and full of love. My parents have always taught me the power of the gospel of Jesus Christ. They taught me how to be respectful and taught me about the consequences (good and bad) of my behavior and the way I treated people. Life was far from perfect, but it was dang good. I started thinking about school. 

6th Grade Graduation

High School Graduation

School has always been my number one focus in life. I am a learner. It's one of my talents. Some people are brilliant visual artists, some people are exceptional singers, some people are outstanding athletes, some people are computer wizards. I am a learner. As a result, I don't know that I've ever been satisfied with my academics. No matter where I've been in school, I've always been looking ahead to what's to come, counting down the days to the next big thing. My Momma's reminder today, as well as the message of Mr. Adkins's song, keep me grounded. It's these gentle reminders that help me enjoy where I am when I'm there.

This is college. This is the hardest, most exhausting, discouraging, wonderful, exciting, fun, BEST thing I've ever done. Finals are next week. There is pressure to keep studying 24/7. There is pressure to maintain balance, remember the "me-time," but if I am to remember anything in this time, it is to enjoy. I'm up late, eating junk, learning about the things I am passionate about, and loving every minute.

In order to better remember my purpose, my drive, my passion, and my love of this time of my life, I give you:

My Semester in Review

Frosty, Sunday Morning, Walking to Church

I was a member of Service Activities this semester on campus!! I have had an incredible time getting to know so many amazing people.

In the Church of Jesus Christ of Letter-Day Saints, you're encouraged to have Family Home Evening on Monday nights. In college, we are broken into "families" with apartments in the ward boundaries. My FHE group was outstanding and we had some pretty fun ward-wide activities as well this semester!

Redneck Olympics

FHE Fear Factor (Eating Crickets)

Country Line Dancing with the Fam

The Ward Family History/Indexing/Ward Missionary Group

Throughout the semester I was able to meet a ton of fun new people and plan/participate in some fun dates!

First Blind Date Ever!

Ladies Choice Date Night: Homemade Pizza!

Barbecue and Bonfire

I even got a date with my sister when she came into town to visit me!

I have had exceptional roommates this semester. We love to party! Dinner, dancing, inspirational quotes, spontaneous fits of laughter, we are a bunch of hooligans!

And of course, I have had the opportunity to further my passion. The beef cattle industry drives me! I love my classes, love learning about the critters I'm passionate about, love helping with chores, etc. 

Prize to whomever can point out the Ilium, Ischium, Pubis, Obturator Foramen, etc. ;)

Hangin' out at the Cattlemen Games

Standin' in the back of the feed truck for the morning feeding. In the winter we feed the cattle hay and protein pellets, nicknamed "Cake." As soon as the truck enters the pasture, those cows come runnin'!

The first Spring calf from a first time mom. She was born bright and early in the morning on one of the coldest mornings this past season, but she was sure a trooper!

Above all, life is grand. School is fantastic. This semester has been wonderful! I WILL survive finals, just like everyone before me. If you don't take a minute to stop and enjoy life as it comes, there'll be nothing to look back on, no great memories to bring a smile to your face. I'm so grateful for my Momma's words of wisdom and for my opportunity to be attending a wonderful University.

To get you pumped and focused on the purpose of this journey, I leave you with a song:

A Milestone in itself as it was my first live performance ever! What a great semester.

Until next time, study hard, play harder!!

My Beef With Society

You Wanna Know What I'm Gonna Be When I Grow Up?

Two Words:

Beef. Producer.

AKA Rancher AKA Hick AKA Redneck.

You Wanna Know What else? My parents and siblings have always been extremely supportive, as well as a few other family members. But outside of them, for my entire life I've gotten flack for it. Ever since I was in junior high school when I started meeting with school counselors I was always told I should be something like a doctor or a lawyer, I was even told once that a job like that was more dignified. Another time I was told my chosen path was a waste of my people skills. Well, today I am here to defend my dream and stand up to my naysayers for all the internet to read. Er, maybe I'm just here to get on my soapbox. Feel free to skip over this post if you're not in the mood. 

FIRST: Doctors and Lawyers are wonderful, the world will always need them, but that is a cliche to success that EVERY student is told.

Consider this: Doctors are there when you get sick and/or need surgery. Lawyers are there when you are in trouble/need a divorce/need representation. RANCHERS and FARMERS are there to produce your food. I will take food over getting sick or getting in trouble ANY day. Contrary to popular belief, it is possible to be successful in the profession of food production. The individual is in charge of their financial well-being. After all not ALL doctors and lawyers are financially stable. Likewise, not all farmers or ranchers are financially stable. Every person must learn for themselves how to be fiscally responsible.

SECOND: The job of a Farmer/Rancher is extremely Dignified.

I don't know what it is about today's society, but for some reason everyone seems afraid to work physically hard for a living. Being a laborer is considered to be a bad job. I feel the exact opposite. In my opinion, no work is more fulfilling than work where I break a sweat and get my hands dirty. Have any of you ever worked out in a garden, tilling up the ground, feeling the dirt in your hands, noticing the creepy crawlies who complete the ecosystem, planting your seeds or seedlings to produce something beautiful or delicious? It is marvelous! I'm religious, so for me it is also a testament of God's grace and presence in all aspects of our lives. To be able to go to market with your beef or pigs or chicken or vegetables or fruits or grains is a job worth holding your head up high for. What could be more dignified than bringing forward a product that you kept nourished and produced for the well-being of everyone else. It's a job that revolves around providing for the greater good of others.

THIRD: My desire to go into Beef Production is NOT a waste of people skills.

Truth: the farming and ranching lifestyle is a very rural and isolated one. Lie: farmers and ranchers lack social skills and do not socialize with one another. It is quite well known that in the cattle world Branding is a busy time of year. It is a time that brings together friends and neighbors to help one another and get a large task done efficiently and quickly. It is also well known that barn raising is another task that brings together friends and neighbors. Both situations are often accompanied with food, music, story-telling, games, and friendly banter. However, did you know that Cattle Associations all over the country also meet several times a year for forums, conferences, clinics, etc? They meet to discuss innovative machinery and technology, ways to help one another, methods to improve output, new business plans, and methods for improving advertising. These societies can be found on every kind of level from international to small chapters in places like colleges and universities. In my own university chapter of the Cattleman's Society we learn about new ways to channel genetics, advertise product, utilize land, and even start our own operations. We have keynote speakers and meet with people in the industry so that we can network for jobs, internships, and just general contacts. Being shy will not get you anywhere, you must develop your people skills.

So why do I bother stating this?

I'm not sure if I felt like being stubborn. I don't know if I felt like being snarky. I do know, however, that I believe some of societies views to be a bit skewed. I believe that a person's success is not based solely on the amount of money they make, the size of the house they live in, or the type of car they drive. I measure success by the lives a person touches, the happiness they experience, and the opportunity they've taken to make their dreams a reality. Granted, one should not pass up an opportunity to be successful in an area they hadn't considered out of stubbornness, but I think there's a certain amount of a stick-to-your-guns attitude that everyone should have. I want to be successful because I make my dreams a reality, have a family, and touch the lives of many. Because success is relative. This is life as seen through the the rose colored lenses of Nat. 

I'd love to have your input! Leave a comment, a message, or an email. And as always, have a great day!!