The Winds Of Change

I feel like all my life has been since coming to school is change, change, and more change!!

As I've been preparing for the "next big thing" in my life as of late, and perhaps the biggest change yet, I've been feeling very reflective on my life, my goals, my hopes and dreams, and my purpose on this Earth.

I have made such outstanding friendships here at school and have realized so many dreams of mine! While I feel like I've gained so much, I've also been knocked down a ton. As I've been considering my next step, I have felt more unprepared than ever before!! Everything I thought I wanted somehow seems trivial and inapplicable. It's as if I'm going through a quarter-life crisis. Is this normal??

However, rather than rant about everything I'm unsure about, I want to tell you what I know.

I know that I have a loving Father in Heaven who always looks after me. He knows me better than anyone else. He knows every feeling of my heart. He knows my hopes and dreams. He knows what makes me tick. He knows what knocks me down. 

I know that I have time. The future will come when it comes. What is happening now in my life is what's most important. I know I have to live more in the now. Que sera, sera. Life is to be enjoyed. So I don't have it all figured out right now, big deal! **Those of you who know me will know this is a big deal for me. I am the planner of all planners and always have to have it all together.** Life will work out. I am young. I have time to figure things out.

I know that I am held accountable for my choices and actions, but that ultimately my life is just that, mine. I am a huge people pleaser and that seems to cause more stress than good. Ultimately, what I do is up to me. I cannot please everyone.

I know that when I serve my fellow men I am serving my Father in Heaven. As I serve those around me I am happy and I know I am doing God's work. As big as my concerns are, they become minuscule when I take a step back and help others. 

I know that everyone I meet is fighting their own hard battle. In fact, this is probably the number one thing I know. Everyone I meet has something that is hard for them, something that is testing them, something that is shaking their confidence. Everyone I know has weaknesses and insecurities. Everyone I know is affected by this life in their own way. I know that I can do better at being understanding.

In just a few short days I'm leaving this beautiful place that I've spent the last 8+ months calling home. I've developed myself here. I've made friendships and built relationships that have enriched my life in innumerable ways. I am beyond thrilled to be heading back home to the place I grew up, I'm thrilled to see my family and old friends, and I'm thrilled to carry on with the next chapter of my life. However, my heart aches for the closing of this chapter of my life. It has been hard, frustrating, rewarding, and extraordinary. As I've been reflecting on all I've learned I am in awe of how blessed I've been. I have fallen flat on my face more times than I can count, but I've jumped up, dusted off, and overcome adversity more times than that. I know that the future is bright and that God is mindful of me. I will always look fondly on my time here and am eager to see what the future holds. Life is beautiful and so full of grand adventures. I am beyond happy to be embarking on a new one. To this lovely little town of mine, I'll see you in two! To all my amazing friends here, "See you when I see you."